The Mercy That Covers Me

Birds.  I like birds. On July 10, 2020 around 11:30 PM, as I kept a vigil at my Mother’s side,    I experienced a rare moment during those two days to be alone with her.  She had been in a coma since we brought her home, with family and friends visiting and saying their goodbyes.   My chair was up against her bed and I laid my head by her head.  I whispered in her ear, “Mom, I’ve heard stories about people coming back to visit after they’ve gone.  I want to let you know that I’m okay if you want to come back and visit me.  Nothing spooky or scary though.  I like birds.”    Just a few hours later, she left us.  As her sisters gathered at the house to see her one last time, Ray, my brothers and I were sitting at the kitchen table.   No one else was in that kitchen when a water bottle falls off the counter.  My older brother half joking said, “Mom, is that you???”  I responded with I just told her that she cou...

I want to caution you: this post is raw, ugly and painful.  It won't be flowered to ease anyone's discomfort of reading raw emotion, ugly words and painful topics.  This is my therapy.  I know I'm not the only one who needs it. I love dogs.  My first dog was a black/white chihuahua/terrier mix named Tiger.  Our family got him around Christmas when I was 5-6 years old.  He was mean and I have the scars to prove it!   Not too long after we got Tiger,  we got Mary.  Mary was a black and white dachshund.  For all of Tiger's mean behavior, she made it up in love.  They both lived very long lives.  Our oldest son even remembers Mary.  In our family, they were my brother and sister.  No joke, I would get Christmas presents, even get well cards, from them.  I knew better.  I knew it was my Dad.  So, I will blame my Dad for one of my greatest loves. Another person to blame for this craziness is my Aunt Clyd...

Ouch! SHARON GALLAGHER SCHMIDT · TUESDAY, APRIL 10, 2018 There’s bad fire and good fire. Here a few examples of bad fire. Mick Jagger - don't play with me, 'cause you're playing with fire. I’m pretty sure no one died listening to Mick Jagger sing the song. Then there was the great fire of 1871 in Chicago. Three hundred people died after Mrs. O’Leary’s cow or some gambling men in the O’Leary barn, knocked over a lantern. Believe it or not, the fire of 1901 in Jacksonville, Florida was the third largest, to Chicago and San Francisco. That fire killed seven people and “in eight hours, the fire burned 146 city blocks, destroyed more than 2,368 buildings, and left almost 10,000 residents homeless. It is said the glow from the flames could be seen in Savannah, Georgia, and the smoke plumes in Raleigh, North Carolina.” So, I guess we would all agree that fire can be devastating. It kills, displaces, maims, orphans and otherwise destroys, everything in it...

#25 What’s your favorite holiday and why? It seemed right to skip over 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23 and 24 to post about this one :)   My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving.  Always has been.  The origin, according to my Google search, is i n "1621, the Plymouth colonists and Wampanoag Indians shared an autumn harvest feast that is acknowledged today as one of the first  Thanksgiving  celebrations in the colonies." Some may associate Thanksgiving with a time for family to gather together.  My definition of family: friends=family, family=friends. Thanksgiving is about breaking bread (watching football) with the people in your life that you care about.  

This weekend something pretty amazing happened but before I share let me preface with a few thoughts.  As with most thoughts, they are the opinion and expression of the one who is feeling them.   Those around may not share the same opinion or thoughts, not because they are wrong, necessarily, but because they view their experiences from a different lens.  My husband has tried desperately to find his place in his extended family.  As a small child, the formative years, he developed strong bonds with the elders of his tribe.  However, for a season he was removed from those people and missed  critical connection with his family.  As a young adult, he was reintroduced, but he missed so much in the separation.  This last few days have been nothing short of miraculous.  It started out with visiting his “brother” Jimmy, Leigh-Ann, John, cousins Mary and Kevin.  If that were the end of the journey, it would have been wonderful but it was ...

What do you think your spouse loves most about you? That is the question.  I'll write my answer first and then ask him ;) I think Ray loves the fact that I am the glue in our family.  That's right, glue.  It's ridiculously important to me that we stay close as we all grow in separate directions.  You know, children grow up, get married, have their own families but that shouldn't separate us.  No, that should make us closer.  I have a big heart for family and am drawn to include those who are lacking in family to be a part of ours.  When I do that, it's probably one of the biggest compliments to that person.  Not everyone is fit :) As I'm waiting his response via text I have to say that I love that Ray has a tender heart.  As we've grown up together I've noticed his heart softened and his compassion for others grow.  His passion for living is contagious and draws me in.   (There is an exception: driving.  If you have poor ...

The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved; the pig is committed. Martina Navratilova But sometimes the chicken wants to be involved but is missing a key element - the rooster!   We got our chickens last summer.  Seriously one of the best things we've ever done.  For the story, check out this video:   Here Biddy, Biddy We've learned so much over the last several months and continue to learn more every day.  In October 2014, a good friend named Allison gave me the sweetest gift.  She gave me a young silkie bantam.  Of course, we named her Allison. Allison began laying on 01/29/2015.  Her eggs are smaller than the other girl's eggs but just as delicious!  I had been told that her breed can be broody and that if she became broody and we wanted to let her hatch some eggs, that Allison (friend, not bird) would supply us some eggs for her. On February 23, Allison laid her last egg and ...

Forgetting.  I'm good at forgiving but forgetting the hurt is hard for me.  I care too much.

Simply put: My marriage and my four children. How about this: 1.  My marriage and family 2.  Fruitful Vine - born in my heart, FV became a reality at a time when there were no options in our community.  I felt like a pioneer dealing with all the obstacles that were in the way.  I persevered and continue to develop options for the birth community.  Excited for the next step! 3.  Conquering fears and low self esteem.  Became a pilot, thanks to a dear friend.  The confidence it gave me was life changing.  I know he knew that when he took me on as his first student.  I occasionally miss those days of taking off on CAVU days in the early morning when the world is just waking up. 4.  Becoming and being Gigi.  I am striving to be the Gigi that creates wonderful memories for her grandchildren.  The one who cuts their sandwiches with cookie cutters and leaves drawings and sweet notes on their snack bags for school. ...

Or How I Fell In Love: I remember the exact moment.  I remember walking home from the bus stop and Ray was in front of our house on crutches.  He asked me where my brother Steve was.  My answer was simple, how  do I know?  I was just walking home from the bus stop!!!  That was in May 1973.  My feelings for Ray evolved over that summer when he joined our family on a trip to Alabama/Florida.  Mind you, I was the only one with any feelings!  To him, I was just his best friend's little sister. It was five more years before he even saw me as anything but Steve's little sister.  We have been together for 37 plus years now.

This is for you, Dad.  Thanks for the encouragement :) Describe 5 strengths and weakness I have. Great topic to start back on.  Yeah, right.  This is a hard one.  Deep breath and here we go: In no particular order: Strength:  I'm faithful and committed.  I am there through thick and thin.  The good and bad. Weakness:  I have a hard time saying no.   At times it makes for a busy life but I'm not sure it would be as fulfilling otherwise :) Strength:  I have a gift for helping others.  I can make anyone open up.  I listen to others well and when they need counsel I feel like the answers come easy to me. Weakness:  I start a lot of things and finish fe Strength:  I am a  Renaissance woman.  I have many accomplishments in life.  I believe I've inherited that from my  Renaissance father :) Weakness:  I don't have anyone to confide in.  Not because there isn't anyone but more be...

Today our family lost a friend.   Let me tell you about our friend.  We fell in love with her before we ever met her.  Mostly because of her brother, Kai.  What a sweet natured boy.  But it wasn't the love that first drew me to her but the fact that she needed someone to rescue her and show her the love of family. Cassie was born to two champion chocolate labradors in 2002.  She was a Christmas gift to the breeder's daughter.  When a patient and good friend told me she was trying to find a home for this unnamed 9 month old lab, I immediately responded that we would take her.  In her short nine months she was crated and rarely, if ever, let out of her crate.  She was covered in feces and urine all the time.  She weighed 35 pounds and her ribs were showing.  Our friend, Heather, made a plan to rescue our girl.  It was on a Sunday morning and she was due any day with her first baby.  She knocked on the owners door and there...

Celebrating Gigi's Birthday!  That's the Statue of Liberty in the background. Aunt B and Ollie Corny Lane, Oliper and Lemon! Uncle Mike, Coco Bean, Gigi, Tunkie, Oliper, Lemon, Corny and Aunt B. Lemon and Gigi. King Kong and Tunkie.

Day 13 - What's the Hardest Part of Growing Up? I'd like to be funny right now and say,  "I'll let you know when I grow up!"  But the truth is that is not the first answer to come to my thoughts.   The hardest part of growing up?  Realizing your parents were right and you would soon be repeating all the wise advice you once thought was unnecessary advice.  "No cookie before dinner."  "You can't spend the night at her house!"  And other seemingly unimportant advice that turned out to be for the child's protection and safety.  Who knew?!?

Back on Track!  The children and their babies have all gone home and now I'm back to the 30 Things List! Day 12 - Describe a Typical Day in Your Life. As a midwife, there is no such thing as a "typical" day.  That's the beauty of this call - every day has the possibility of amazing things! That being said, I will tell you there are a few things in my typical day I do not wish to miss - 2 cups of coffee in the morning, talking to at least one of my children or lately my grandson.  Oliver has been calling me on the phone for several months now.  He calls and asks things like, "Gigi, you hear me???"  Reminds me that he is at his new house in New York and other seemingly unimportant things.  To me, these are the best moments of my day.  Just a couple of weeks ago he FaceTimed me.  This is something we do just about every night.  This time, I assumed, was as any other time.  Once the call was connected, he got so excited!  "Daddy! ...

30 Things - Day 11 Describe 10 pet peeves you have. 1.  On the top of my list, number one pet peeve:  when people make one word out of the words "a lot". That's right, number one - alot.  See the red squiggle line underneath the non-word, alot?  Yes?  That's because it's not aword.  Get it?  aword? alot?  alittle?  So, next time you write a story and want to use those words, remember they are words not word.  Thank you. 2.  I almost hate to say this one out loud.  Okay, here it goes, beard trimmings left in the bathroom sink. There, I said it! 3.  This is hard.  I'm usually the author of pet peeves not the recipient of them.  I could list 20 or more that I am responsible for.  I seriously need help with this but fear I will open a can of worms if Ray reads this.  So, we shall say I have one, maybe two, pet peeves and leave it at that.

30 Things - Day 10 Describe your most embarrassing moment. I'm trying so hard to figure out an embarrassing moment and can only come up with other people's moments.   That's really embarrassing :-)

Day Nine of 30 Things List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how. 1.  My Mother - She has instilled in me my love for family.  The sacrifices she made for us when we were growing up had a profound affect on me.   2.  My Father - He's hands down one of the most intelligent and incredibly fun people I've ever known.  I learned how to have fun and enjoy life from him. 3.  My Grandmother Meadows - She exuded a love for God and Family without having to say one word.  She walked out her faith by giving her self to others, without complaint. 4.  My Grandmother Gallagher - I could always count on her for comfort and consistency.  Her home was always welcoming.  The dolls, the bears, the food.   5.  Dr. Rob Helmer - my employer and my friend.  He was like a big brother to me.  His influence in my life was perhaps the most profound of any in my adult life.  He help me learned self confidence. ...

Day Eight of 30 Things My Children and Grandchildren should know about Me. What are 5 passions you have? 1.  Genealogy!!!  Thanks to this list activity I've embarked on, I have received 3 requests for help with folks family history.  LOVE IT! 2.  Documenting our family with photography.  Know just enough to be dangerous.  I love being able to look back on photos from family members long ago and reminiscing about days gone by.  I  want my children to be able to go back one day and relive those days. 3.  Helping families during the childbearing year.   Love watching families grow! 4.  Music - love listening to it, playing it, writing it, going to shows. 5.  Of course I will round this one out with FAMILY!  Remember - mountain commune?  Family!

30 Things My Children and Grandchildren should Know about Me. Day 7 - What is your dream job and why? First, I honestly think I have the dream job.  Helping women and families through the amazing journey of parenthood.  So, what would be that alternate dream job? Well, I've had lots of dream jobs.  Let me sound this out and narrow it down. I used to think owning a pug farm would be awesome.  We would have a hundred pugs and play with them all day.  Saying things like, "Do you wanna <fill in the blank>???"  We'd watch them tilt their heads in anticipation of whatever it was we asked.  Pugs frolicking through green, flowery fields and snorting in delight.  And then four pugs came to live with us while their "parents" got settled in their new homes.  I love those pugs but they squashed my idea of that dream job. How about activity director at a retirement community?  My first job was a volunteer at a nursing home.  Play...